I appeal, instead, on the basis of love. - Philemon 9
Paul, as the apostle who led Philemon to saving faith in Christ, had the authority to command Philemon to receive Onesimus (his slave) back into his home. Yet, rather than make an appeal on the basis of that authority, Paul persuaded Philemon to receive Onesimus on the basis of love, a shared love for Christ and for one another.
Spiritual authority is always most effective when it is least commanded. If a person in spiritual authority over another has to resort to demanding obedience, then that authority has already been compromised or even abdicated. Spiritual leaders may have authority from Christ, but it can only be maintained in His character, attitude, and humility.
If God has granted you authority (headship), hold it lightly and reverently. It is not yours to own, only to manage. If you live under the headship of another, remember the One who granted that position, and honor Him by submitting as God intended.
We must feel toward our people as a father toward his children; yea, the most tender love of a mother must not surpass ours. We must even travail in birth, till Christ be formed in them. They should see that we care for no outward thing, neither liberty, nor honor, nor life, in comparison to their salvation. When the people see that you truly love them, they will hear anything from you. Oh, therefore, see that you feel a tender love for your people in your hearts, and let them perceive it in your speech and conduct. Let them see that you spend and are spent for their sakes. - Richard Baxter
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